sometimes we are so bless that we forget that we are

hey everybody, after much persuading and love and concern from all of ya, i will try to stand up now. and i'm going to share with all of you why. but firstly i must thank sharon and yiting. they are very special and nice ppl. it's really very amazing. i became very depress since friday, even though i never say anything rite, but when i "disappear" after i got my result i really wanted to end my life, i was sitting at the back of D and T there, and i was thinking, where could i get a pen knife. seriously. i was soooo emo lor. i cannot even stand myself. yuck. so emo. yuck. so emo. ok but it's very true. yesterday after my dad ROAR(he seriously was roaring, so scary lor), i wanted to find the pen knife again but luckily i was in my mum's room and no knife there. super emo rite. ewwwwww. cannot believe that i actually habour those thoughts. but seriously random ppl started showing me concern in everyway possible. firstly, it's sharon, i dunno her. maybe it's just that i cannot put the face together with her name. but yes, she was really nice, tagging and actually bother to find my number to sms me encouragments. it's so amazing rite. then is this xingzhong guy from dhs. he actually bothered to sent me a bible verse and christian songs. and i dun even say hello to him in vj lor.(that is because i'm quite a dao person). then is yiting, sorry but yiting, at first i thought u quite a dao person, but ur tags really touched me. it's so amazing, after reading them i feel so much better. dun all of you find it amazing?! i know i do.
through this whole episode i find that i'm quite selfish, i only thought of myself and act all emo and keep crying(and finding penknife, hahahahaha). i never once thought of how ppl will get worried and all that. i didn't know everyone actually bothers abt me, actually cares. like clinton, we sorta drift apart after we spilt classes, but he actually still cares about me and all that. hey clinton dun forget we are going to appear on the newspaper, yea?! o and zimu, he kept trying to cheer me up on msn. and qiqin, o man, she is like the bestest friend anyone can get, i noe she oso not feeling happy but she only cares to worry for me and kept on cheering me up. and i was so totally selfish and ignored her feelings. girl, i'm so sorry. and wenjun, u still remember me in ur mist of happiness, thanks. o and hari and kelly( i assume it's her chin meng) ya, both of u are real nice. thanks. let's not forget cynthia, who tried hard to think of jokes to cheer me up and giving me the honour of appearing on her msn nick. o wenwen, thanks, i wish i can hug you. o chao yang and jeridyn, thanks for ur concerns on msn. o and jiaxin, she still remembers me:) and yu lan, dun worry i'm alright now.
o and all the church ppl, songde, huihui jie, zhen hua ge, iris(hug ya), zhi hao, pastor, pastor's wife, faith...and some more i think. they were all like comforting me and giving me advice today. they kept on encouraging me to go on. it's really amazing. like what my mum reminded me today, that i'm actually very blessed, so many ppl care abt me. thank you everyone, it's because of all of you that i am willing to stand up( o sounds cheesy). haha. but hey it's true.
anw, due to discouragment to go poly, i think i'll put tjc, sajc and mjc as my choices. my parents, huihui jie and pastor all want me to go there. so i go lor. if i go there i think i'll take bio, chem, maths and art. haha, my fire for art is ignited again. amazing....whoo~~~ well, that is if vjc dun wan me after meeting them tml. the chances of going back vjc and actually getting into science is 0.1%. it'll take a miracle because i'm not even using band to appeal because i'm seriously not a talented band member. but tjc may not wan me either, but that one i can still use art to appeal la. haha.
i dunno whether to go back vjc or not for the 3 weeks, if the school says i dun really have to go back then i wun. but i will miss alot of ppl, but if i go back i'll have to take econs test!!!! no i do not wan to take econs test!!! ok, that is not a good reason. but ya, going back oso very no face. but not going back is very irresponsible. but going back have to see the KC girls,ewww....but not going back i cannot see my angel and mortal. but going back means i have to go for cross country ( i dun wan to run!!!!!) and JTS ( junior treat senior, treat ur head la! i not even staying treat for wat?! and i'm BROKE!!!) but i dun go back i cannot celebrate V dae( o and give flowers to the guyS that i have crush on, i have alot of crush k?!?! hahahahahaahahaha) ok, so now wat.....hmmm... my personality is splitting..
dunno man....sian.... see wat vjc says tml. i'll go find the principal if he is willing to see me. haha. so exciting rite. i wonder wat will happen....